Cassandra, Amy, Sarah, and Tina, thank you very much for your thoughtful responses!
Cassandra and Amy, you both raised a very important point. The lesson plan that I posted was very close to the ‘I do it, we do it, you do it’ format. I’m not sure why I didn’t include a ‘modeling’ portion in the lesson plan. I would definitely make that change. This would help M in his understanding of run-on sentences and the reasons for avoiding them. Originally, I had thought of a worksheet with seven sentences. I would now change that to eight sentences. These eight sentences would be split into three sections: Modeling Practice, Guided Practice, and Independent Practice. In the modeling section, I would correct the two run-on sentences, making sure to say out loud what I am correcting and the reasons for doing so. Essentially, I would be following the Optimal Learning Model discussed in our readings (Routman, 2003). In the guided practice section, we would work on two sentences together, and the remaining four sentences would be completed independently by M.
Tina, your advice to teach M how to use an editing chart is very interesting. After spending these past couple of weeks with M, I can tell he tries hard to complete great writing pieces. I have no doubt he would take the information on the editing chart and almost use it as a rubric to make sure he uses proper conventions. Because I want him to pay close attention to correcting his run-on sentences, I would create a separate lesson for this; perhaps one that immediately follows the lesson on run-on sentences. It’s important for M and other students to see what teachers are looking for. Having a lesson on editing specifically would help students learn to pay more attention to their writing.
Sarah, the question you posted for me was whether or not we should work on word choice next. I think it would be a good place to continue-- after working on editing. I want to make sure he is completely sure of when to use explanation points rather than question marks, and vice versa. Word choice would definitely follow. I remember the last sentence of his story lacked energy. I feel he could have chosen better word choices on his conclusion. In fact, it’s important that we work on this too (concluding sentences). We want to teach him to choose strong word choices ALL throughout the story. He did this so well in the previous pages, I almost felt like I was left ‘hanging’ with the concluding sentence that he wrote. In fact, his last sentence threw me off some. I thought, in the story, the boy was enjoying the day all animals could talk. So, why was his last sentence, “Even though it was annoying, I still remember the day all animals could talk”? I understand the dog’s accident may have been frightening or frustrating, but I’m not sure if ‘annoying’ was the right choice of words. On the contrary, before Kunoa’s accident, the boy seemed happy, and after the accident, he seemed concerned. I’m not sure if he simply used the word ‘annoying’ to finish the story quickly. After all, it was his last sentence (as I mentioned earlier, he seemed to rush off the end and he lacked energy). I remember writing in my analysis how he could have used better word choices (NWREL, 1992, p. 5). Therefore, I think it would be a great area to target next.
Working with a student who is enthusiastic about writing, and who clearly takes the time to create his stories, is very rewarding. From our meetings with M, I can tell he listens to feedback and works hard at improving his work. I look forward to continuing my work with him and helping him improve something he loves to do.
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