Literacy Project 1- Reflection

Cassandra, Amy, Sarah, and Tina, thank you very much for your thoughtful responses!

Cassandra and Amy, you both raised a very important point. The lesson plan that I posted was very close to the ‘I do it, we do it, you do it’ format. I’m not sure why I didn’t include a ‘modeling’ portion in the lesson plan. I would definitely make that change. This would help M in his understanding of run-on sentences and the reasons for avoiding them. Originally, I had thought of a worksheet with seven sentences. I would now change that to eight sentences. These eight sentences would be split into three sections: Modeling Practice, Guided Practice, and Independent Practice. In the modeling section, I would correct the two run-on sentences, making sure to say out loud what I am correcting and the reasons for doing so. Essentially, I would be following the Optimal Learning Model discussed in our readings (Routman, 2003). In the guided practice section, we would work on two sentences together, and the remaining four sentences would be completed independently by M.

Tina, your advice to teach M how to use an editing chart is very interesting. After spending these past couple of weeks with M, I can tell he tries hard to complete great writing pieces. I have no doubt he would take the information on the editing chart and almost use it as a rubric to make sure he uses proper conventions. Because I want him to pay close attention to correcting his run-on sentences, I would create a separate lesson for this; perhaps one that immediately follows the lesson on run-on sentences. It’s important for M and other students to see what teachers are looking for. Having a lesson on editing specifically would help students learn to pay more attention to their writing.

Sarah, the question you posted for me was whether or not we should work on word choice next. I think it would be a good place to continue-- after working on editing. I want to make sure he is completely sure of when to use explanation points rather than question marks, and vice versa. Word choice would definitely follow. I remember the last sentence of his story lacked energy. I feel he could have chosen better word choices on his conclusion. In fact, it’s important that we work on this too (concluding sentences). We want to teach him to choose strong word choices ALL throughout the story. He did this so well in the previous pages, I almost felt like I was left ‘hanging’ with the concluding sentence that he wrote. In fact, his last sentence threw me off some. I thought, in the story, the boy was enjoying the day all animals could talk. So, why was his last sentence, “Even though it was annoying, I still remember the day all animals could talk”?  I understand the dog’s accident may have been frightening or frustrating, but I’m not sure if ‘annoying’ was the right choice of words. On the contrary, before Kunoa’s accident, the boy seemed happy, and after the accident, he seemed concerned. I’m not sure if he simply used the word ‘annoying’ to finish the story quickly.  After all, it was his last sentence (as I mentioned earlier, he seemed to rush off the end and he lacked energy). I remember writing in my analysis how he could have used better word choices (NWREL, 1992, p. 5). Therefore, I think it would be a great area to target next.

Working with a student who is enthusiastic about writing, and who clearly takes the time to create his stories, is very rewarding. From our meetings with M, I can tell he listens to feedback and works hard at improving his work. I look forward to continuing my work with him and helping him improve something he loves to do.

Literacy Project 1- Lesson Plan

Lesson Outline

Objectives
To work on improving sentence structure by revising samples of incomplete and run-on sentences.
To discuss his run-on sentences and improve his usage of commas and periods.

Standards
GLE 3.3.4: Knows and applies punctuation rules. Uses commas after an introductory phrase or clause.
GLE 3.3.6: Uses complete sentences in writing.

Materials
Example of writing, pencil, red pen, 1 piece of blank lined paper

Instructional strategies

This lesson will occur in a writing-conference context.

I will ask M to read the piece of writing I provide him with and ask him the following questions: What did you think about the writing?  What do you notice about the sentences? Incomplete sentences? Run-on sentences? What made the sentence either incomplete or a run-on?

We will discuss what makes a complete sentence (how commas are used to combine different ideas together, what elements are necessary), then work on the sample sentences by correcting  two of them together.  The five sentences that remain will be corrected by M. Using a red pen, he can write the corrections he feels will improve the sample.

Once M finishes correcting the sentences, we will talk about how the changes improved them.  If there are incorrect revisions, we will discuss what could be changed.

After M has gotten practice determining what makes a complete sentence (and not a run-on sentence), and feels more confident making revisions, this will lead us to the next  part of our lesson. I will ask him to  read over his original piece of work, “My Dog Kunoa” and have him see if he can spot any incomplete or run-on sentences.  Once he points them out, I will have him rewrite them on a blank piece of paper so that the sentences both flow with the rest of the story, and also get revised as complete, coherent sentences.

I will ask M to read his revisions out loud once he is finished.  

I will discuss the changes he made and give him feedback on how much better his story flows.  We will then have a conversation about what can be  done next to take his writing to publication.

Assessment
I will informally assess how M corrects the remaining five sentences on his own .  Then I will check how he revised his run-on sentences from his story, comparing them to how he had originally written them in his rough draft. I will refer to the sentence fluency portion of the 6-Traits to assess how he made his improvements.

Literacy Project 1-Analysis

1. The title of M’s fictional story is My Dog Kunoa. It was created after his class was given a prompt to write a story about animals that can talk. The story is about a talking dog that goes to the zoo on its grand opening day. Their adventure is cut short when Kunoa gets injured, loses his ability to talk, and has to be taken to the vet. After x-ray tests are done, we learn that Kunoa is alright and just needs some rest.

2. 6 Traits

Ideas: M’s story is clear and focused, and it definitely holds the reader’s attention. His writing contains a lot of details to support his main ideas. As the reader you can also tell that he wrote from experience, “The guy in the box office gave us our tickets and a catalog,” but yet his ideas are fresh and original, “Kunoa wanted to stop at the Dots Ice Cream stand which left me thinking that he was very spoiled.” The piece of writing also displays a high level of insight, demonstrating an understanding of life, “Doctor Yakamoto came in to show me Kunoa’s x-ray.”  

Organization: There is an inviting introduction to M’s story, drawing the reader from the very first sentence. His story has a clear beginning, middle, and ending displaying careful thought and organization in the structure of his story (sequencing is logical and effective). His conclusion was thought through carefully, letting the reader know that his dog Kunoa’s health was in good condition, but also reminding the readers of the main idea of the story with the last sentence (main idea-the day all animals could talk), bringing the story to a smooth closure (Routman, 2005).

Voice: M’s strong focus on his topic speaks strongly to his audience. His use of detail is appealing, and the language that he uses to do so is natural and engaging. His story flows, and his use of specific details lets the reader know that there is an inclusion of personal details and sense of familiarity behind his words, “The guy in the box office gave us our tickets and a catalog” (NWREL, 1992).   

Word Choice: The word choices made by M give the story a very interesting touch, while enhancing the meaning of the story. He uses a lot of lively nouns, verbs, and phrases such as fainted, Doctor Yakamoto, snoring mode, and knocked out like a rock. He even used a simile in his writing, “Doctor Yakamoto came running out like a deer.” The beginning and middle of his story contained a lot of lively word choices, but the ending seemed to lack them a bit. By this point in the story, the audience is already used to a certain level of description and the conclusion paragraph doesn’t support this strongly. He does contain some striking words, “…he went into snoring mode,” but more detailed wording would have been better (NWREL, 1992, p. 5).

Sentence Fluency: The sentences in the story vary in length from short to long, make the story easy to read aloud, and they enhance the meaning of the story. He added dialogue where he felt it expanded the story, “I wish I could swim like you,” and “My dog has hit his head.” His thesis sentence in the beginning paragraph clearly communicates to the audience what the story is about, “That’s the start of the day all animals could talk.” An area we felt he should improve on is preventing run on sentences, “Kunoa went crazy he jumped up, and down yelling, “I wish I could swim like you.” ”

Conventions: Overall, M’s story displayed good capitalization and paragraphing, reinforcing the organizational structure. There are some areas where we feel he needs some improvement and practice. In order to avoid run-on sentences in his story, he needs to learn the proper use of commas and where to start new sentences. His overall spelling was great, with the exception of one misspelled word, eventully.

3. M definitely displays ownership of his writing. He said he likes writing and coming up with creative things, but he does need a title or an open-ended prompt to get started. When asked what makes him want to write, he responded with, “It’s fun thinking of all the action stuff to write about. I’m better at understanding nonfiction.” His fondness of writing even went as far as attempting to write a chapter book at one point. He continued with, “Action makes stories more fun, and since every story has a problem, there needs to be a solution for kids to come up with… but they also have to come up with the fun stuff in between.” M appears to be very proud and confident in his writing, loves to let his imagination take over, and he ended this portion of our questions with, “I think I’m good at writing.”

4. When looking over M’s spelling words from our first session, Sarah and I believe he is a good speller. The only words he missed were ‘cattle’ and ‘fortunate’. He spelled them as ‘caddle’ and ‘fortune’. In terms of misspelling cattle, he spelled the word the way it sounds and he knew the double consonant rule for the word, but he chose ‘d’ instead of ‘t’. For fortunate, he got stumped on the ending sound, changing it entirely to fortune. He showed that he knew how to spell the root word but struggled when spelling the ending. He was also aware that he misspelled the word but wanted to move on. All the other words were spelled correctly and he seemed to have no problem with them, writing them quickly and automatically.

During these two short sessions with M, Sarah and I have learned what it is like to work with and learn from an enthusiastic reader and writer. He is a student that takes pride in his writing and enjoys taking his stories to the next level. We feel that in order for his writing to continue flourishing, he should work on sentence structure to prevent run-on sentences, as well as the proper use of commas. We look forward to continuing our work with him.  

Connections to Readings:

6+1 Trait Writing

Routman, R. (2005). Writing essentials: raising expectations and results while simplifying teaching. Greenwood International.